There are new folks in the house at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The hillbillies, King William Jefferson and Queen Hillary Rodham, are gone, and Texans have moved in once again.
With George W and the crowd from the Lone Star State has come many changes in décor and style. Cowboy hats and boots are back in. Everyone gets a nickname, as is the custom in Texas. There are of course new accents and even language not heard around D.C. in a few years. It's the cowboy colloquialisms Texans often use to put people and situations in the proper perspective without necessarily hurting anyone's feelings. To bring you up to speed, here is a guide to a few of the more colorful expressions you hear from the White House. A friend of mine e-mailed them to me. Hope you get a laugh out of them — which might be just what we need right now:
The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving.
As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.
Tighter than bark on a tree.
Not very generous)
Big hat, no cattle.
(All talk and no action)
We've howdy'd but we ain't shook yet.
(We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced.)
He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow.
(He has a pretty high opinion of himself.)
She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth.
(That woman can talk.)
It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs.
(We really could use a little rain around here.)
Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly.
(Appearances can be deceptive.)
This ain't my first rodeo.
(I've been around awhile.)
He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch.
(Not the most handsome of men.)
They ate supper before they said grace.
(Living in sin.)
Time to paint your behind and run with the antelope.
(Stop arguing and do as you're told.)
As full of wind as a corn-eating horse.
(Rather prone to boasting.)
You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits.
(You can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn't change what it is.)
The Bush clan has also put their touch on the Presidential vehicles. Check out the new version of Air Force One.